Early last year I wrote about my indecision on the issue of changing my name. I realized last week that I never followed up on the issue and my decision. After the last few weeks of formally making the changes, I wanted to let you know I went for it. I struggled with the choice. I did not rush out to the DMV and the Social Security office (then again, these are not places you ever want to go to). I do, from time to time, feel the loss of my maiden name. I felt a strong identity with it.
Some of my friends have said their reason for wanting to change their name had to do with wanting the same name as their children (FYI they could take the woman’s name too…), but I grew up in a house where my half-sister had a different last name than I did. Is our relationship diminished by this? Did it affect our unit as a family? I never felt so. In contradiction to that though, when my parents divorced I asked my mother to keep her married name. It is only recently that I realized how difficult or frustrating that must have been at the time, to keep her identity tied with my father’s at a time when she was working hard to strike out on her own.
I’m working on a new identity of my own, one where I balance myself and my own interests with the personal and shared interests of my husband. So I’ve made the leap. I don’t know if this was the right choice and it sure was a pain in the butt to get new cards and get everything switched to my new name but I’m going for it nonetheless. I’ve added a new clan to the family. Or they’ve added me…
I wish I had some mind blowing comments to share with you about the state of the world but I am distracted. I’m about to get married in less than five weeks and that’s pretty much all I’m thinking about right now. Alaskan boy is about to be on his way back to big skies and hot temperatures after his last season up there. I guess I won’t be able to call him Alaskan boy anymore. That’s because I’ll be calling him HUSBAND! I’m going to assume you can imagine all the crazy feelings that creates internally when I say/write that word. In case you can’t, think about a flip-flopping stomach, a racing heart, butterflies, and a mind that’s going “Ahh!!! *$#^!@#^&*!” Crazy major life changes…
Extremely non-important things that are taking over my brain:
- Pies (This is not unusual.)
- Labels for wedding favor jars
- Gifts for the “bridal party”- mainly the kiddos. Jewelry has been suggested but I haven’t found anything that I’m crazy about yet. I hardly get to see them so I want to make sure they still think I’m the cool aunt and this is my chance to drive that home… I welcome suggestions.
- Whether or not it will rain that weekend- Don’t worry. I am totally aware this is a ridiculous waste of time but recently it’s been coming up in my brain a lot.
- How insanely weird changing my name will be- In case I haven’t already told you I am planning on changing my name. Which is crazy because I love my name. I love being called Bos (there’s only like three people who call me this but FYI I really like that about those people). The part I struggle with the most is what if one day I actually pull it together enough to publish something. My new name is not the one I’ve dreamed about being on the cover of a book (or many books, duh).
- Oh, and the fact that we’re moving at some point to some where. All those unknowns are pretty distracting.
Is your brain on overdrive too?