I’m Eating Your Gluten Allergy

You’re gluten intolerant/gluten free/Celiac? Not a problem. I seem to be making it my mission to eat your portion of gluten too. But! Only in a delicious homemade way. My last mission involved sourdough bread which is one of my favorite things. You may think I’m crazy but the best sourdough bread I’ve ever had is from Cracker Barrel. It has a soft chewy unlike any other I’ve ever had crust. I used to beg my favorites for it when we would go to eat there. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

I did not recreate this delicious bread but I did make some damn fine sourdough bread courtesy of Girl Versus Dough. Perhaps you’re already aware of this, but sourdough bread is a serious time commitment. I had no idea. It takes days! Despite that it does not require any real effort. I even forgot about it for a day and there were no consequences (as far as I can tell). And it looks like this:

Try it yourself: Homemade Sourdough Bread

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I think this is day 2 or 3. Starting to get bubbly and a little sour smelling.

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Definitely day 4- stinky and bubbly. Does not seem like something you want to eat. I completely forgot about it on day 5 and didn’t feed it but everything seemed to work out okay…

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Girl Versus Dough told me to throw in some whole wheat flour so I subbed one cup of regular flour for whole wheat. Delish!

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I started cutting before I remembered to take a picture! This recipe makes two loaves but someone who shall remain nameless was already chowing down on the other one.

Just looking at all the pictures of her yeast breads gets me moving towards the oven..

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There’s no such thing as too much baking. Right?

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I’m a Vegetarian from Virginia

Well, that’s not true at all. I’m from North Carolina. Last night I ate chicken. I eat meat almost every day. Regardless of that at my last job everyone was under the impression that I was a vegetarian. Even though I brought in smoked salmon to share. Even though I made turkey sandwiches for the Thanksgiving potluck. I rode my bike to work and I don’t wear a lot of makeup. Therefore I am a vegetarian. This is how these ideas begin, at least in Texas.

Now I’m making my reputation worse (I don’t think worse is the right word) by making my own laundry detergent and granola bars. I’m even hoping to make my own soap, shampoo and deodorant. Those DIY adventures to come!

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This week I made granola bars via ohsheglows.com.  Here is her awesome recipe:

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 cups mashed ripe banana (about 3 medium/large bananas)
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 2 cups rolled oats (use certified gluten-free if necessary)
  • 1/2-3/4 cup dried cherries, chopped (I used 3/4 cup)
  • 1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
  • 1/2 cup sunflower seeds
  • 1/2 cup pepita seeds (shelled pumpkin seeds)
  • 1/2 cup sliced almonds
  • 1/4 cup hulled hemp seeds
  • 1 teaspoon cinnamon (I could not find any cinnamon in my cabinets, but it didn’t stop me)
  • 1/4 teaspoon pink Himalayan salt or fine grain sea salt, or to taste

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Lightly grease a large rectangular baking dish (approx. 8.5″ x 12.5″) and line with a piece of parchment paper so the bars are easier to lift out. (Used foil instead and an incorrect sized dish- no big deal)
  2. In a large bowl, mash the banana until smooth. Stir in the vanilla.
  3. Place the rolled oats into a food processor (or blender on the lowest speed) and pulse until the oats are coarsely chopped (but still with lots of texture). Stir oats into the banana mixture.
  4. Chop the walnuts and cherries and stir these and the rest of the ingredients into the banana-oat mixture until thoroughly combined.
  5. Spoon mixture into prepared dish. Press down until compacted and smooth out with hands until even. Use a pastry roller to smooth out if desired.
  6. Bake for 23-27 minutes (I baked for 27 mins.) until firm and lightly golden along the edge. Place dish on a cooling rack for 10 minutes then carefully slide a knife to loosen the ends and lift out. Place granola slab on a cooling rack for 10 minutes and then into the freezer for another 10 mins.
  7. Slice into bars once they are cool.

I used her suggestion of wrapping the bars individually in parchment and taping them with Scotch tape, placing them in a Ziploc and freezing them. Taping is not a great idea. Parchment is made so that nothing will stick to it. She wrapped hers in twine and I would probably do that next time.

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The bars aren’t sweet but it didn’t stop me from eating 3 as soon as they came out of the oven. I might put a little honey in next time though. In the meantime, delish!

My Week Without Cheese

If you know me, you know I love cheese. I also love eggs, beer, wine, butter, bread and bananas. But two weeks ago I (for reasons that remain unclear) I decided to go on this two week detox where I would have none of these delicious things. Well, I can have goat cheese which is fantastic but limiting. Normally probably eat 2 different kinds of cheese a day. Now I’m down to the wonderful but small world of goat cheese. (Have you tried goat feta? Insanely good! I love Swede Farm’s. Check it out!)

I’m not eating gluten of any kind, eggs, honey, bananas, oranges, shellfish, alcohol (minus a small break yesterday- but I think one evening of drinking out of two weeks is still pretty good), corn- the list goes on! Only Grass-fed, all natural meats and wild fish for protein. Supposedly I’m going to lose weight and feel a lot healthier. Not eating bread at every meal has been a really good thing. We did try gluten free pasta this week which is actually not disgusting. Plus, I’m having to be a lot more creative with meals. No grabbing a pizza or a sandwich if I’m running late. No breakfast for dinner. 

Great things I’ve learned from this experience: 

  • I like green beans. I’m not saying they’re my favorite but I definitely like them. I’m excited to add a new vegetable to my repertoire. 
  • An avocado heated up with salt, pepper, lemon juice and goat feta on it is like heaven on earth. 
  • All vegetables taste amazing when grilled.
  • Gluten free pasta is not only edible but tasty. Also it is possible to eat pasta without garlic bread.
  • Avoiding eggs is ridiculously hard. Sometimes they’re even in goat cheese. 
  • Buying the fancy grass  fed, all natural meats is completely worth it. You can taste the difference in every bite. 
  • I can feel comfortable in bars without drinking. 

I’m only one week into my detox so wish me luck on the second half! If anyone wants to try it I’ll send you the food lists. 

This is basically me now:

 

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