5. Don’t toss your cigarrettes into the water. That’s disgusting. And littering. Weren’t you there on Earth Day at school?
4. Forget your sunscreen. There is no possible way you will escape severe burn. Don’t fool yourself. Ain’t gonna happen.
3. Wear jean shorts. You know you’re going to be uncomfortable. Why do you continue to do this?
2. Forget food. Sun + Beer + Body of Water = Hunger
1. UNPACK SOMEONE’S COOLER OF BEER!* If there is a cooler, which you are sharing with your float buddies, do not under any circumstances take the beer out and replace it with water and gatorade. We are not interested in hydration!
*Number One could also be called “Do not let your mother near the cooler. Ever.”
As previously stated I’m at the prime of 24 which means I’ve recently entered the age where I drink beers based on their quality rather than price. This is a new thing and not necessarily a regular thing as I am also still poor.
Coming from the land of North Carolina we don’t have an overwhelming number of great local microbrews but every year it gets better and if you’re in the area of Asheville, then you’re definitely in luck. Asheville Brewing Company, Pisgah Brewing, and Highland are only the first ones that pop to mind. My mouth starts to water as I think about a Pisgah Solstice. If you really are in the area then stop by Barley’s Taproom where they have 55 beers on tap, many of them local.
But as a young person the important thing is to know our inexpensive beer of choice. In NC we proudly stand behind:
But not say as much as this guy:
Yes, that is a man with his PBR coffin
And usually not as much as this guy:
Classy people usually run rampant with PBR. Obviously.
In Texas I’ve tasted only a few “nice” beers. I’ve sampled (translation: gotten drunk off of) the Thirsty Goat Amber and the Buckethead IPA made by Thirsty Planet. The Amber is pretty strong, two got me feeling pretty good. And the Buckethead IPA was almost too hoppy for me, but I’m a light weight. Overall I would definitely order both again. I’ve been to Uncle Billy’s BBQ and Brew where they make a good Blonde and have excellent rotating beers on tap.
But obviously my texas beer training has been focused in the under $4 arena. The Shiner Bock proved to be the easy drinking beer of people not quite willing to purchase a Lone Star. But Lone Star you are truly the beer for me. Your tallboy cans (convenient indeed), your watery taste has just enough flavor and kick to keep me coming back for more. I’ll two-step the night away drinking your fine elixir cause I’m in Texas now, and a Texas girl I’d better be.
Any beer that calls itself the “national” beer of texas is pretty sassy and should be drunk by the case. Go out and by yourself one.
For a good source of information about Texas beers check out tipsytexan.com