I haven’t been able to blog these past few weeks. Trying to balance work and play… well, I thought I didn’t have enough free time before and I really didn’t know what I was talking about.
Admittedly, returning to work has been significantly easier than I expected. I spent the day before mostly in tears. Okay, I was also able to work in lunch with a friend that included a beer. You never know, it could have been my last chance to drink a beer in the daytime on a weekday. But then it was all tears.
I really don’t mind being back at work. My work is interesting. I feel challenged on a regular basis. In fact, coming back to work has relieved much of the brain fog that had taken over as well as the loneliness I felt at home during the day. I don’t feel guilty leaving Haines at daycare. We secured our daycare less than 4 weeks before I needed to be back at work and did so by calling every daycare that is licensed near our home. We were (and technically are) basically on every waitlist in town. Luckily the only daycare we got into has been great so far. With only 3 other babies in the room I feel like Haines gets a lot of attention. And now instead of wishing I was somewhere else when we’re together, I am present. In the evenings I work hard to make our time together quality time.
All that being said, this is still a struggle and a work in progress. I have come back to work at incredibly busy time for both me and Tyler. And now every hour of the day has a purpose. We wake up needing to get right to business getting everything together for daycare and our work days. After working full days we take turns making dinner and spending time with the munchkin. As soon as he’s in bed I try to take time for myself for a bath or writing but since Haines isn’t actually sleeping through the night on a regular basis sometimes I go to bed almost immediately after. Every few days we walk the dog. But really only sometimes. Poor Clara.