It is an accepted part of simply being around other women that they are going to they are going to complain about their:
weight- too heavy, not heavy in the “right places”, not the right shape
hair- too flat, too frizzy, too thick, too curly, too straight, wrong color
thighs- too thick, cellulite
booty- too much or too little
feet- large, hairy
knees- too knobby, big
hands- manly, large
breasts- too small, flat
arms- under arm flab
neck- too long
face- facial hair, acne, large pores, abnormal coloring
(While these comments are stereotypical of women, they certainly do not belong just to them.)
Does any of this sound familiar? If it doesn’t, you are probably a recluse. I have said some of this. I have listened sympathetically to some of this. I have cringed at a lot of this. I have wanted to say, “Are any of us listening to ourselves? Why do we feel this way?!”
Someone was. My long time friend and pen pal, Lynn. Her article on her acceptance of herself (a work in progress) and why she’s keeping her facial hair appeared yesterday on xojane.com and I absolutely love it.
Lynn and I have been friends and pen pals for 17 years and I had noticed the hair on her face before. It’s a part of her. I noticed it like the way I noticed the warm sweaters she always seems to be wearing. It makes me want to hug her. She always looks so soft. I noticed it like I noticed her hair. How incredibly wavy and beautiful it’s become. In fact, I’ve often been jealous of it. I noticed it like I noticed her smile. It’s a wide smile. When she is happy or laughing her smile takes over. it’s hard to not be affected by it. To me, her friend, her little blonde hairs are just that- a little thing a part of a wonderful package. But to her, sometimes those little hairs felt like everything.
Now, as she explains in her story, she is trying “to be kind to herself” which is something many of us struggle with. It’s something we all need a reminder of. I want to thank her for sharing her story. She’s not alone in dealing with this issue and she’s not alone in her path to accept herself. I hope you will remember this too.
Life is better when you’re kind to yourself.