I am feeling like a teenager. A smitten making out all night teenager. (Of course instead of leaving to go home to meet his curfew, he just left to meet his friends to watch the game. Hm..)
Yes, I am the same person who once wrote A World Without Romance and I am still with the same guy I wrote that post about. On New Year’s Eve it will be two years since he and I first hit it off. While it took me like an additional 3 months to start calling him my boyfriend, I should have been long before that. What can I say? I’m a chicken. I constantly have doubts about our future, about our compatibility, about the fact that he lives in freakin’ Alaska! But at the same time it all seems to be completely worth it.
This weekend we went camping at Lake Somerville which didn’t turn out to be as awesome as hoped. Definitely not my favorite camping spot. But considering the amazing time we had, I don’t care where we were. We talked the whole time. I brought cards in case we got bored (cause he’s not naturally a talker) but we didn’t even use them! We made s’mores! We slow danced around the campfire! I get all drooly and weak at the knees just thinking about it. At one point I asked him, “Do you really think we can make it even though we’ve got such different viewpoints?” (Clearly, I’m paraphrasing.) And he said, “Yes, of course. I’ve never had any doubts.” (I’m actually not paraphrasing.) I swooned.
He is so secure in our relationship. He believes so wholeheartedly in us. It really makes me open my eyes to how distrustful I am as a person, always keeping a little bit back, always keeping a little distance. He makes me want to be a better person because even if it doesn’t work out in the long run, I know it will be worth it anyways. I won’t be wasting a moment.
This summer I listened to a group of my mother’s high school friends reminisce at their 40th high school reunion and I realized they had no idea where that they would end up where they are today. They had all been married multiple times (clearly something they would not have predicted back when they graduated high school) and experienced tragedy, poverty, incredible happiness and finally incredible personal growth. And so I came up with the theory that you can’t really “know” if someone is the one or the not. Not at my age anyways. Even if you think you “know”, well so do a lot of people who end up in divorce. But you can know if someone is worth the risk. Someone can be worth sticking it out, getting married, trying as long as possible, worth the heartbreak, worth the months apart and the arguments. I think I’ve got someone who’s totally worth it.
Someone who I think is worth risking my heart on. (Try not to throw up from the pure sappiness of this post. My apologies.)