Eeyore’s Birthday

I lived in Asheville, NC for four years surrounded by hippies and musicians and just otherwise crazy folk. Even when I lived in my hometown my friends were the kind of people who were exhibitionists, who were naked, who wanted to be called freak and stand out in the crowd. But I was totally unprepared for this. This is what the website says:

Eeyores Birthday Partyis a fund-raiser to benefit non-profit groups in Austin. Some of these groups will be selling hot and cold food (including vegetarian), soft drinks, juices, spring water, and Texas beer at the event. Look for commemorative Eeyore Birthday Party T-shirts.

  • Please wear a costume. There will be costume contests and other games with prizes for children of all ages.
  • Artists will be doing face painting and temporary tattoos.
  • Musicians playing non-amplified instruments are invited to play.
  • There will be Maypoles for the young and young at heart.
  • Come join us and wish Eeyore a Happy Birthday.

Tell me this doesn’t sound like a family friendly kind of hippie celebration to raise money for those in need. And when you first enter the grounds walking through the food tents all you see are kid friendly costumed vendors selling popsicles, chalupas, lemonade, face painting for little ones, etc. But then you walk a little farther and you see the 10 local beer tents lined up and you start to smell a potent familiar scent waft through the air. A girl walks by only in her bathing suit bottoms, nipples painted as stars. Maybe it’s a fluke cause look there goes a couple on stilts! How fun!

And there’s a game of unicycling flag football!, but as you approach the drum circle you realize this isn’t actually oriented towards children. In fact why are these kids here? Because a man is wearing white lace crotchless panties underneath his pink tutu and word on the street is that his schlong is covered in glitter! This same man also tries to take a picture of my breasts and gives me a kiss on the cheek when I tell him no.

This is another well dressed man… in his 60s. So I wandered over to another drum circle, tucked away in the woods a bit, where I came across this woodland creature.

Look closely, wordpress isn’t letting me crop any of my images. Serves me right for taking pictures with my phone and instead of a camera.

So it all looked very strange and I thought I might try my third drum circle over in the more child friendly area.

First I noticed this. They danced for a while in a strange Tai Chi sort of fashion. Then there was a little of this.

And all I could think was what do these children think about all this?!!!!

I would highly recommend this event for anyone without children who would first get high or take shrooms. It’s mindblowing!

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